Letting Go

     On a cool clear morning in mid-October some friends and I decided to hike up to The Pool near the Fern Lake trailhead. The hike is a relatively short one but stunningly beautiful nonetheless. While we made the very gradual climb under the breathtaking blue sky we listened to the roar of the Big Thompson beside us. There are many beautiful rock formations along this path and I have no doubt my friends were enjoying the view around them. One of my companions noted that the trail was nearly covered in aspen leaves. As fall was drawing to a close, the aspens were rapidly shedding their few remaining leaves in preparation for the coming winter. It always amazes me that no matter when winter decides to make its grand entrance be it early or late, the deciduous trees always seem to know when it is time to let go. The trees seem to understand that though their beautiful leaves are withering and falling there will be an opportunity for new growth with the coming of spring.

     The trees offer us a powerful lesson. Knowing when to let go in so many different aspects is an important life lesson that not quite everyone completely understands. Saying goodbye, letting go, and moving on are important factors in a serene existence. Perhaps the hardest aspect is letting go of the past. This is not to be confused with forgetting the past or the lessons that came with it. Rather, it is knowing when the time has come to not let your past chain you down and hold you back from a wonderful present and, hopefully, an even brighter future. Letting go of a difficult past can be a true challenge, especially if the past was a traumatic one. Some may even need the love and support of others in order to fully let go but it must be done no matter how long it takes. Another example of a time to let go is letting someone go. This could be a child turned young adult about to set out on their own journey or it could be a former love that has gone in a different direction. In either of these cases or other related ones letting go is paramount not only for your own peace of mind but for the other person’s wellbeing as well. Then there is always the loss of a loved one who has passed on to the hereafter. This can be a particularly difficult time to let go but we must nonetheless. We mourn the deceased, cherish their memory, and with time we carry on with our lives in a manner that would honor the ones we buried. I think now of the mistakes and hardships of my own past, the romances that did not blossom quite as expected, and the friends and family that I have had to say goodbye to. Very little of this came easy for me just as it was difficult for all mankind to endure. However, because I have let go I am where and what I am today. I have found peace, satisfaction, and serenity. I am young enough and wise enough to know there will be much more letting go to do on my life journey. Then, just as in my past, it will be difficult but because of what the mountains and forests have taught me I will endure for soon the new growth will come.

     As we continue along the trail I take in the perfect moment in which I am a part of. I feel a warm peaceful sense about me. I know it cannot last forever and I know life was not designed to be easy. With this knowledge I will endeavor to do the best I can and deal with the hardships life will occasionally offer up as they come. In these mountains I believe I have found the greatest friend, companion, and therapist any one person could ever ask for.

Interaction

In mid-October a friend and I decided to hike along the Cub Lake trail one afternoon. The day was a cold one and it was overcast and snowing. We hiked at a leisurely pace for just over a mile and came to a small pond that was still and quiet. With the days growing shorter and the late start on the trail we were content to situate ourselves on some rocks and relax for a while before heading back. As we sat there on the cold rocks with the wind and snow swirling around us we sipped some water and ate some trail mix while enjoying idle conversation. In this moment I was struck by the beautiful simplicity of the moment. Two men were sitting in a cold wild place with no other signs of life around and were relaxing. What an interesting picture this would have made with the pond next to us and the peaks behind it while we sat there as the snow accumulated in our hair and beards. In that moment I believe we were socializing as people were originally meant to.

In today’s culture much of the social interaction between people seems to happen in loud crowded places that are not of nature’s design. We meet up in restaurants, movie theaters, malls, and so on. We buy things while we socialize such as food, drinks, and other trinkets. All of this seems to be a distraction for what we truly set out to do, spend quality time with good friends and family. There are certainly some exceptions to this such as inviting people over for cookouts and such but it would seem to me that most socializing is done in a money spending distraction rich environment. Do we secretly worry about awkward moments of silence? Do we fear our companions may grow bored in our company? Out here in the wild it seems conversation flows naturally and when there are breaks in the chitchat they are agreeable as well. Out there away from civilization you simply enjoy the companionship of who you’re with and the relaxing feeling that comes from sitting on the side of a mountain, the bank of a river, or a log in the forest. Time slows till you lose track of it all together. Troubles are forgotten as they seem a million miles away. Your laughter is deeper and smile wider as you come to realize that this is the peace you were meant to enjoy while in the company of good people. Out here the only distractions are the birds calling from their perches in the trees. Out here money is worthless as there is nothing to spend it on nor anyone to give it to. No calls or texts can detract from conversation for the nearest cell phone tower is miles away. With this knowledge I invite you to ask a friend or family member to take a walk in the woods with you. Find yourselves a peaceful unassuming spot and relax for a bit. Have a good chat about whatever comes to mind but don’t force conversation. When those moments of silence do creep up then just enjoy the natural world around you and the companionship of the person beside you. Friendships can be forged and even strengthened in a wild place.

As I stood and stretched before returning to the trail I thought of those mountain men that came here long before me. I think of how every now and then they would cross paths and stop to trade stories while smoking a pipe or sharing some jerky. On this day I feel yet another step closer to those brave souls I so much admire. We started trekking through the snow but I was warm inside nonetheless.

Peace of Mind

On a cool breezy night in early October I found myself sitting on my porch in a somewhat flustered mood. The whole week I waited for inspiration to hit me and provide me with something to write about. No doubt the fact that I had worked for eight straight days was of no help as it left me with very little time or energy to immerse myself in the wild. That night, however, I felt sure there was a lesson the mountains were trying to teach me so I sat there waiting. The night was void of human noises and I listened to the wind blowing through the trees and the sound of distant elk bugling as they are prone to do this time of year. There was such a calm peace all about me that evening. At some point I checked the time and it was then I realized I had been sitting there on my bench for nearly two hours. I had become lost in the serenity of the night and then, at that moment, I suddenly realized the lesson I had just been taught, the enormous value of peace of mind. In those two hours I had been so comfortable and relaxed in the world around me that I had thought about absolutely nothing at all. I was not worrying, scheming, pondering, or otherwise mentally occupied by anything whatsoever. In the aftermath of this mental vacation I felt completely refreshed and happy.

In the world today it is a rare thing to have time where you can simply relax and think of nothing at all. So many things tend to absorb our minds. We think of bills that need paid, tasks at work that need completed, chores around the house that need attention, and so on. Is this why so many are exhausted at the end of the day and unwilling to get out of bed the next morning? Is this why the office drone tends to drag out his lunch break? Could this explain the working mom’s reluctance to pull the car out of the garage Monday morning? I sincerely doubt there is a single soul on this earth that does not have to worry, ponder, or think about many things on a frequent basis but I firmly believe we all need some time alone to free our minds and spirits. In order to do this, however, we must first be able to be at peace and put our concerns on the back burner for at least a short while. Rest assured that any problems you have will still be there when your mental vacation is over. But the difference is you are now mentally refreshed and energized, ready to tackle whatever life throws at you. Physical vacations can also have this same effect but often require extra mental strain just to plan and implement them. All a mental vacation requires is that you find some relaxing spot and dedicate a short time to clear your head and heart. This could be something you do once a week or even once a day. What more could one ask for than the ability to go on vacation every day? Some may have difficulty locating that special place where they feel relaxed enough to find such peace. Others are lucky enough to be able to do this nearly anywhere. I can easily find peace in these mountains but I certainly couldn’t imagine finding that same peace sitting on a bench in a city. Some people can do that though and I would be lying if I said I was not jealous. But in the end, once you find that spot and reach that calm and untroubled state of mind I promise the quality of life can only improve as you will have gained the ability to charge your spirit’s battery at will and no problem or task will be insurmountable to you anymore.

As I stood up to go inside I was laughing out loud at the trick the mountains had pulled on me. After looking so hard for another lesson for so many days it had taken me sitting and thinking of nothing at all to learn the lesson the mountains wished to teach me this time. As I prepared for bed I reminded myself that if I were to be a good student I needed to pay closer attention to my teacher.

Home

Upon returning to the mountains after the great flood I could not wait two full days before embarking on a hike. A good friend and I decided to travel up to Bible Point, a short hike up a summit with a fantastic panoramic view at the top. Fall was definitely in the mountains that day with cool clear weather making for perfect hiking weather. The trail is neither long nor difficult even with some washout from the heavy rains. After a trip up through aspens and pines we at last reached the summit and spent nearly an hour taking in the surrounding countryside while enjoying the fantastic weather.

During this whole hike I could not believe how wonderful it was to be home. Here in the mountains is where I belong, where I am happiest, and where I thrive. So often I have been asked by the tourists and seasonal residents where is my home. If I could see their faces I am quite sure I would see a look of surprise when I explain that this is my home. But even if my permanent residence was elsewhere I believe I would still claim the mountains as my home for, as the old saying goes, home is where the heart is.

I am a strong believer that the term “home” is one of the most commonly misused words in any language. Nearly any average person when asked will call home the place where they reside, the mail gets delivered, and where they lay their head for most of the year. But is that where their heart truly is? Is it possible that home can be a place you travel to once a year or even less? Ask yourself where is the one place you were happiest? The answer is different for all of us. Some people will discover that their residence is also their home because it is the happiest place they have ever known and that is perfectly acceptable. For others it will be the place they grew up. Some have a vacation spot that feeds their souls every time they return. There are even some people who have only been to a place be a single time but for that brief period in their lives it was the happiest time they remember. 

It is a rather fascinating thought that one could have only been home once in their entire lives but that certainly does not have to be a negative thought. Perhaps some individuals may even have more than one home? Deciding just where home is for yourself can require some deep introspection but when you finally realize where your own home or homes are you will come to appreciate it all the more. I even believe that this self-realization will allow you to appreciate the other places you have been as you will gain the ability to compare and contrast these other places and realize what makes them good or bad but not quite home for you.

It is such a tragedy that far too many people will spend too much of their lives in a place they are not happy just because of a paycheck or because they think there is no way to go home. Certainly an income is important and relocating can be costly and difficult but, to me, those concerns and difficulties pale in comparison to being in a place where your soul is not happy and free. There are those who are content where they reside and they get to visit home every now and again. These individuals are happy in this scenario and therefor are to be considered lucky. Then there are the most fortunate souls of all, the ones who live at home. For these blessed folks such as myself, we rise every morning knowing that we are living, loving, and laughing in the place we love above all others. This is as close to heaven on earth as one can achieve.

As I sat on my porch that evening after my hike and dinner I heard an elk bugling in the distance. I was suddenly overwhelmed with a deep sense of gratitude that life, fate, or some deeper power had brought me to my true home and graciously allowed circumstances to work that I may live in this phenomenal place. I suddenly understood the bugling elk; he was bidding me a warm welcome home.

Full Circle

After the Great Flood of 2013 temporarily chased me out of my mountains I decided to make a short trip back to Ohio to visit family and friends. During this two week visit I happened to reconnect with an old college friend I had not spoken to in nearly a decade. On a beautiful early fall day we enjoyed lunch and then took a long walk through Blacklick Woods. The weather was absolutely perfect and as we wandered down the trail through a mix of oaks, maples, and hickories we enjoyed the sound of the birds and squirrels scampering and flitting about around us. We even heard a few frogs calling as we passed over some of the marshy areas that dot that forest. The walk, conversation, and sounds of nature all combined to make for a very agreeable afternoon. We walked around a large loop that eventually brought us back to my friend’s car and I couldn’t help but marvel at the significance of the circle we had just trekked upon.

The friend, that I journeyed with on that day, and I had a rather hard falling out ten years ago while attending college together. Harsh words had been spoken and hard feelings forged. But now both older and hopefully wiser we have buried the hatchet and are friends again in a place not so far from my origins nor the place where we met so long ago. Just like the simple trail we had just traversed together we had come to a full circle at last. I think of the significance of the wild and peaceful place we were surrounded by the power of the circle we crossed.

The earliest inhabitants of this land placed a great importance in both nature and the circle. We can find evidence of this in both their ancient ceremonies and artwork such as the sacred medicine wheel. Life and perhaps fate has taken me far and now I roam the mountains where I firmly believe I belong. Having found my own personal heaven on earth, I cannot ignore the path that brought me here to the high country. Nor, for that matter, can I allow myself to not occasionally complete the sacred hoop and return to my own roots. Returning to the original wild places that inspired me to journey in the beginning, reminds me that the earliest life lessons I took from the land came from here, not my beloved mountains. By coming here I came to appreciate the mountains even more. It is essential that we all give tribute to our beginnings and honor the place we started our journey in life. 

Only by coming to the complete circle can we truly come to term and fully understand who and what we truly are. The true mountain men were not born in the mountains. The seasoned sailor was not born on the sea. The celebrated hero more often than not comes from a humble and unassuming beginning. The mountain man returns to the flats on occasion. The sailor returns to port now and again. The hero returns to the place of his people that came before him. No matter how far you go and no matter where you find yourself be always sure to complete that holy circle every once and awhile so that you may have sacred time to remember who you are and how you got there. 

Sometimes completing the hoop can turn your life around for the better. If the earlier part of your journey was a particularly hard or painful one then do not shy from that past. Embrace it and take a measure of pride in the fact that you overcame those obstacles and endured what a weaker soul may not have been able to. The more you travel on your personal wheel of life, the stronger the wheel becomes and the surer you will become in just where on the wheel you belong.

Whenever I think back to that beautiful day in the Blacklick Woods I will always reflect on how insightful it was and how much I gained from it. Another valuable lesson was learned and a dying ember of friendship was fanned into a great blaze. I know now that my journey through the mountains started here in the forests of Ohio and as surely as I stand here today my journey will bring me back to this place again one day.

The Flood

Toward the middle of September heavy rain came upon the mountains. It started on a Tuesday and a hike up Emerald Mountain had to be abandoned. By Wednesday it was raining harder still and on this day a close friend came to visit for the night. By Thursday morning flash floods had cut us off from the nearby town of Estes Park. The rain did not stop until Friday but by then waterways were so flooded that roads and bridges were rapidly deteriorating and we prepared for a long siege against the weather. Friday afternoon brought the sudden news that the bridge was in danger of washing away and we were ordered to evacuate the area before being cut off completely. We hurriedly packed a few things and drove over the flooded, washed out, boulder strewn road and soon found our only way out of the area over Trail Ridge Road. Upon reaching the western side of the Rockies, we turned south and eventually made our way to the safety of Denver for the next couple of days before she headed back to Texas and I returned to Ohio to visit family while the mountains calmed down.

Through this entire ordeal I was a bit surprised to find what was most concerning me. It turned out not to be what most would expect. What was on my mind the most those wet days in September was not the flood, but rather that person that was trapped there in the mountains with me. Rock slides were blocking the canyons and passes and I was content listening the sound of her laughter. Others were anxiously awaiting news of bridge and road conditions while I was anxiously waiting for my shift to end so that I could be near her again. Food supplies were dwindling but all I could worry about was my dwindling time remaining with her. It seemed as though the very mountains I love were collapsing around us but there, in the middle of a national emergency, I was overwhelmed with a sense of peace and contentment.

Nearly all of us have some special person or people in our lives. These people can excite and calm us, laugh and cry with us, be our light in the darkness, serve as our lighthouse in stormy seas, and stand as our beautiful wildflower that is vibrant with color in the snow covered alpine tundra. They come out of nowhere and far too soon are gone. We are better for the time we had with them and cherish the memories we made with them. We feel a sense of sorrow immediately after we have to say goodbye. When such a person enters your life you must never hesitate to show them how much you love them and how thankful you are to have them in your life. We never quite know from when or where these individuals will come from and thus it’s hard to be prepared for them. In my own situation I have known this person for many years and she has always been someone I have deeply cared about but those rainy days we spent together caused a deeper sense of something within myself.  

There is a song about a mountain man that tells of how the life of a mountain man is a lonely one and though it ought to have been different, the story doesn’t always go the way we had in mind. As I think of this song I can draw some parallels in my own life. Indeed the life of a wandering mountain traveler can be lonely but just occasionally we find someone that joins us for a bit of our journey. Nature had raised a terrible hand upon my home but there, deep in that wild land I journey through, I had found a special moment in my life. The danger is over now but I will forever be grateful for that flood in September of 2013.

The Grouse

      Just before Labor Day weekend I decided to get one more hike in for the summer. There was already a hint of fall in the mountain air and I knew I had a busy schedule for the next couple weeks so it seemed like a perfect time to reenter my sanctuary. For the hike itself I chose Lake Haiyaha as my destination because I love exploring the Chaos Canyon where this lake sits. We got an early start and the morning was clear and cool. As we drew closer to Nymph Lake we passed through a large stand of Ponderosa pines. Suddenly the people I was with stopped and got very quiet. I inquired as to what was going on and was informed two grouse were not ten feet away from us. The birds were just standing there apparently untroubled by the close proximity of the humans. We gazed at these fascinating birds for nearly ten minutes and not once did the birds appear bothered or afraid of us. Such brave little creatures! After a time we continued on our hike, leaving the grouse in peace to continue on in whatever their task was this day. As we trekked on to Haiyaha I found myself in a state of awe about the courageous little grouse.

     I have once heard it said that fear is one of the most contagious and crippling diseases that a person an ever encounter. It robs us of good judgment and can make a bad situation worse. What I have noticed though is that the wild has no fear, only a sense of caution. Caution that keeps an animal from danger. Caution that helps preserve the animal’s young. Perhaps caution is not even the right term; instead let us simply call it common sense. The grouse we encountered this day did not flee because it did not feel threatened. Had any of our group attempted to approach the grouse directly they most certainly would have taken flight. No doubt the grouse kept us in their sight as they could not immediately know our intentions. I have seen this same characteristic in many different wild animals back when I could see. Courage is what I saw then and is what I still see today.  Many times in life we will find ourselves in situations where we are afraid but do we let that fear rule us? We overcome our fear with that same sense of courage that has guided so many to greatness. We mentally or even verbally tell that which is trying to induce the fear into us that we, not they, control our destiny. Courage is what will carry us through a dangerous situation. Courage is what will help us overcome the seemingly insurmountable obstacles in life. Courage is what gives us the strength to realize our dreams. The young athlete practices hard so they may excel in their sport. The soldier braves enemy fire to save his comrade. The dying man stares death in the eye and enjoys the time he has with his family instead of worrying about the inevitable. Of course we calculate the risks and attempt to set what we know to be somewhat realistic goals. But through all those calculations and attention to realism we must still have that courage to push ourselves as far as think we can and then further still! Courage took man up Mt. Everest and to the moon. Imagine where courage can take you. Have also the courage to help others realize their dreams and overcome their fears. If you allow your fear for their wellbeing to show then you run the risk of infecting them with this terrible virus and a dream or goal can be lost. I do not want someone to tell me how dangerous it is to climb the mountains and attempt to discourage me. Rather, I want them to be brave and encourage me so that I may share third courageous spirit.

     As we hike on I am overcome by a sense of amazement. In such a small creature I have witnessed something miraculous. The spirit of the grouse is in me now and I feel that much worthier to stand tall and proud next to those wild fearless animals that are my teachers and companions. ust before Labor Day weekend I decided to get one more hike in for the summer. There was already a hint of fall in the mountain air and I knew I had a busy schedule for the next couple weeks so it seemed like a perfect time to reenter my sanctuary. For the hike itself, I chose Lake Haiyaha as my destination because I love exploring the Chaos Canyon where this lake sits.

     We got an early start and the morning was clear and cool. As we drew closer to Nymph Lake we passed through a large stand of Ponderosa pines. Suddenly the people I was with stopped and got very quiet. I inquired as to what was going on and was informed two grouse were not ten feet away from us. The birds were just standing there apparently untroubled by the close proximity of the humans. We gazed at these fascinating birds for nearly ten minutes and not once did the birds appear bothered or afraid of us. Such brave little creatures! After a time we continued on our hike, leaving the grouse in peace to continue on in whatever their task was this day.

     As we trekked on to Haiyaha I found myself in a state of awe about the courageous little grouse. I have once heard it said that fear is one of the most contagious and crippling diseases that a person can ever encounter. It robs us of good judgment and can make a bad situation worse. What I have noticed though is that the wild has no fear, only a sense of caution. Caution that keeps an animal from danger. Caution that helps preserve the animal’s young. Perhaps caution is not even the right term; instead let us simply call it common sense. The grouse we encountered this day did not flee because it did not feel threatened. Had any of our group attempted to approach the grouse directly they most certainly would have taken flight. No doubt the grouse kept us in their sight as they could not immediately know our intentions. I have seen this same characteristic in many different wild animals back when I could see.

     Courage is what I saw then and is what I still see today.  Many times in life we will find ourselves in situations where we are afraid, but do we let that fear rule us? We overcome our fear with that same sense of courage that has guided so many to greatness. We mentally or even verbally tell that which is trying to induce the fear into us that we, not they, control our destiny. Courage is what will carry us through a dangerous situation. Courage is what will help us overcome the seemingly insurmountable obstacles in life. Courage is what gives us the strength to realize our dreams. The young athlete practices hard so they may excel in their sport. The soldier braves enemy fire to save his comrade. The dying man stares death in the eye and enjoys the time he has with his family instead of worrying about the inevitable. Of course we calculate the risks and attempt to set what we know to be somewhat realistic goals. But through all those calculations and attention to realism we must still have that courage to push ourselves as far as we think we can and then further still! Courage took a man up Mt. Everest and to the moon. Imagine where courage can take you. Have also the courage to help others realize their dreams and overcome their fears. If you allow your fear for their wellbeing to show, then you run the risk of infecting them with this terrible virus and a dream or goal can be lost. I do not want someone to tell me how dangerous it is to climb the mountains and attempt to discourage me. Rather, I want them to be brave and encourage me so that I may share third courageous spirit.

     As we hiked on I am overcome by a sense of amazement. In such a small creature I had witnessed something miraculous. The spirit of the grouse is in me now and I feel that much worthier to stand tall and proud next to those wild fearless animals that are my teachers and companions.